Part 2: Advice for hard times
A few weeks ago, I shared what I thought was my best advice…and so many people wrote back to me saying it was exactly what they needed to hear. So I’m back again with some advice for hard times.
Advice that others have shared with me and I am passing along.
By the way, I had originally shared the advice in my newsletter, but because so many people said they needed to hear it, I then posted it in my blog, which you are reading now.
Thanks for the vote of confidence, friends:
Without further ado, here’s some of the best advice part 2, advice for hard times.
Don’t Just Feel Something, DO SOMETHING!
“I Don’t Know What To Do With My Life”
Here’s my advice for that conundrum. Because purpose is soooo big and you are expanding and growing and changing every darn day, you don’t have to figure it all out now!
You don’t have to figure out your whole life today. Just figure out what you can do today.
Take it from a multi-passionate human (me, Sarah) who changes identities or personas more often than my idol David Bowie did!
Give Yourself What YOU Need Most
What exactly does that mean? Well, too often we look for validation, praise, love, etc from other people. When you have to give it to YOURSELF first in order to receive it from others.
If you want more love, be your own darn soulmate! You have to nurture, cherish and take care of yourself FIRST in order for others to value you.
If you want to receive more compliments, compliment yourself! Appreciate yourself. Do mirror work!
Here’s an example: Up until recently, I wanted Chad to take me seriously as a musician. But I had to take myself seriously FIRST!
Story time: In the past, Chad treated our band like a silly joke because most of our old songs were rap songs (😂 so me). But I always knew we could be so much more than that. Pre quarantine, I split my energy and focus a ton. But although I sang to my dog friends and to my chickens, I played video games way more than I played my ukulele because I was usually pretty tired from weekend face painting gigs, especially in the summer heat. Quarantine allowed/forced me to focus on one thing for the first time in my life. And it lit a fire in me!
Sometimes I practice for 5 hours at a stretch. I did vocal exercises everyday. I practiced harmonizing with David Bowie. I accepted that Chad was in another band at the time, so I made my own music. And if I never earn a dime from it, I don’t care…I have to sing and strum. And then Chad’s band broke up in march! And not because of quarantine! I did not immediately swoop in like Yoko Ono, although I was tempted 😉 Chad asked me to do some Facebook live concerts with him and we both realized the Loverfaces need to make musical magic together again. 💜 I take my fun seriously and I aim to inject as much visual delight into performing as possible (you can usually find me surrounded by bubbles and in full costume when I’m at an event, probably from my 10 years as a visual and performing artist in the corporate entertainment industry). But I had to take myself seriously as musician before Chad ever could.
Start a Kindness Swipe File
I learned this from Chantel Adams back in the day when I took her public speaking program. Basically, anytime someone compliments you online (and in person), take a screen shot and put in a folder on your desktop.
If you have a business, do this with all of your testimonials, praise, etc. When you need a boost or pick me up or are going through hard times, look at the kindness swipe file to lift your mood.
And by all means, SHARE those compliments around. You will notice I post people’s glowing comments about me throughout my blog and website, like this:
Whenever I’m feeling a moment of doubt, I take a look at my testimonials and praise and it helps me see that I’m making a difference whether I feel like it or not.
Be Conscious about What You CONSUME
Every day you are programming your brain and your mind. Choose what you read and watch carefully! If you are highly sensitive or an Empath, or going through your own stuff, it might be a good idea to turn off the news.
What I’m Watching
The Happy Film
Last night Chad and I watched The Happy Film on Amazon prime. The Happy Film was created by an incredible designer named Stefan Sagmeister.
What I loved is that Stefan did not try to put a bandaid over poo…he literally wanted to change! He is super vulnerable about his struggles and it is not a “rah rah” film but SUPER REAL And relatable.
Stefan tries three different modalities to make himself happier for 3 months each: meditation, drugs, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Even if you’re not into any of that, watch it just for the AMAZING visual stimulation alone. Warning: he is foreign and there is some nudity but it’s well worth it.
Here’s a scene from the movie:
What I’m Reading, Listening to and Watching:
Before any of the shootings occurred, I was accidentally amplifying black voices by watching Joe Rogan interview Kevin Hart and sharing about it (sychronicity for the win) out of pure inspiration and admiration for Hart.
Kevin Hart broke his back 8 months ago and he is already walking around with less than 12% body fat. He went from being a hustle hustle go-go-go to someone who really values his family and his down time. Although I’m not going to get up like 5 a.m. like Hart, he is what motivated me to start lifting weights again. And I have to say I don’t wake up with back pain anymore.
Use Your Library
Read THIS BOOK:
Start a Gratitude Journal
Advice from Ru Paul, Hunty
“People are going to talk about you anyway. You might as well do what you want to do!”