Part 2: Advice for hard times

Part 2: Advice for hard times

A few weeks ago, I shared what I thought was my best advice…and so many people wrote back to me saying it was exactly what they needed to hear. So I’m back again with some advice for hard times.

Advice that others have shared with me and I am passing along.

By the way, I had originally shared the advice in my newsletter, but because so many people said they needed to hear it, I then posted it in my blog, which you are reading now.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, friends:

advice for hard times

Without further ado, here’s some of the best advice part 2, advice for hard times.

Don’t Just Feel Something, DO SOMETHING!

This quote is from Alexandra Franzen:
“When tragic, horrific things happen, feeling “sad” is not enough. Action is required. Fundraising is required. We can’t just feel something. We have to do something.”

 

Please read this powerful piece by Rachel Rodgers about what you can do to create a better world and help end racism.

 

“I Don’t Know What To Do With My Life”

Here’s my advice for that conundrum. Because purpose is soooo big and you are expanding and growing and changing every darn day, you don’t have to figure it all out now!

You don’t have to figure out your whole life today. Just figure out what you can do today.

Take it from a multi-passionate human (me, Sarah) who changes identities or personas more often than my idol David Bowie did!

David Bowie

Take it from Bowie: It’s all about CH-Ch-ch-changes

Give Yourself What YOU Need Most

What exactly does that mean? Well, too often we look for validation, praise, love, etc from other people. When you have to give it to YOURSELF first in order to receive it from others.

If you want more love, be your own darn soulmate! You have to nurture, cherish and take care of yourself FIRST in order for others to value you.

If you want to receive more compliments, compliment yourself! Appreciate yourself. Do mirror work!

advice for tough times

Ru Betta Work by Sarah Jordan

Here’s an example: Up until recently, I wanted Chad to take me seriously as a musician. But I had to take myself seriously FIRST!

Story time: In the past, Chad treated our band like a silly joke because most of our old songs were rap songs (😂 so me). But I always knew we could be so much more than that. Pre quarantine, I split my energy and focus a ton. But although I sang to my dog friends and to my chickens, I played video games way more than I played my ukulele because I was usually pretty tired from weekend face painting gigs, especially in the summer heat. Quarantine allowed/forced me to focus on one thing for the first time in my life. And it lit a fire in me!

Sometimes I practice for 5 hours at a stretch. I did vocal exercises everyday. I practiced harmonizing with David Bowie. I accepted that Chad was in another band at the time, so I made my own music. And if I never earn a dime from it, I don’t care…I have to sing and strum. And then Chad’s band broke up in march! And not because of quarantine! I did not immediately swoop in like Yoko Ono, although I was tempted 😉 Chad asked me to do some Facebook live concerts with him and we both realized the Loverfaces need to make musical magic together again. 💜 I take my fun seriously and I aim to inject as much visual delight into performing as possible (you can usually find me surrounded by bubbles and in full costume when I’m at an event, probably from my 10 years as a visual and performing artist in the corporate entertainment industry). But I had to take myself seriously as musician before Chad ever could.

advice for empaths

My first fan was a Chihuahua named Stella. PS. She was deaf.

Start a Kindness Swipe File

I learned this from Chantel Adams back in the day when I took her public speaking program. Basically, anytime someone compliments you online (and in person), take a screen shot and put in a folder on your desktop.

If you have a business, do this with all of your testimonials, praise, etc. When you need a boost or pick me up or are going through hard times, look at the kindness swipe file to lift your mood.

And by all means, SHARE those compliments around. You will notice I post people’s glowing comments about me throughout my blog and website, like this:

empaths heal

 

Whenever I’m feeling a moment of doubt, I take a look at my testimonials and praise and it helps me see that I’m making a difference whether I feel like it or not.

Be Conscious about What You CONSUME

Every day you are programming your brain and your mind. Choose what you read and watch carefully! If you are highly sensitive or an Empath, or going through your own stuff, it might be a good idea to turn off the news.

What I’m Watching

The Happy Film

Last night Chad and I watched The Happy Film on Amazon prime. The Happy Film was created by an incredible designer named Stefan Sagmeister.

What I loved is that Stefan did not try to put a bandaid over poo…he literally wanted to change! He is super vulnerable about his struggles and it is not a “rah rah” film but SUPER REAL And relatable.

Stefan tries three different modalities to make himself happier for 3 months each: meditation, drugs, and cognitive behavioral therapy. Even if you’re not into any of that, watch it just for the AMAZING visual stimulation alone. Warning: he is foreign and there is some nudity but it’s well worth it.

Here’s a scene from the movie:

the happy film

What I’m Reading, Listening to and Watching:

Before any of the shootings occurred, I was accidentally amplifying black voices by watching Joe Rogan interview Kevin Hart and sharing about it (sychronicity for the win) out of pure inspiration and admiration for Hart.

Kevin Hart broke his back 8 months ago and he is already walking around with less than 12% body fat. He went from being a hustle hustle go-go-go to someone who really values his family and his down time. Although I’m not going to get up like 5 a.m. like Hart, he is what motivated me to start lifting weights again. And I have to say I don’t wake up with back pain anymore.

Kevin Hart advice
In other good books, I’ve been reading How to find Your Yellow Tux by Jesse Cole (affiliate link). Cole is the creator of the Savannah Bananas baseball team. They are more like a circus than a baseball team and that’s why I wanted to read it. I learned about him from one of my sister’s old entrepreneur magazines.

Use Your Library

I am soooo thrilled to find out that I can get books from the library by placing them on hold online and then calling when I arrive. Then the staff leaves the books by the door for me to pick up. I got Chelsea Handler’s new book, Kevin Hart’s book and some natural healing book.

Read THIS BOOK:

The Book of Joy, (affiliate link) Lasting Happiness in a Changing World by The Dalai Lama. This helped me sooo much during quarantine.

Start a Gratitude Journal

Gratitude LITERALLY re-Wires your brain to be happier. SCIENCE BACKS THIS UP!
This is so damn important that I am creating my next online course about it! I’ve been gratitude journaling since 2014. My life has become soooo much happier and richer for it.

Advice from Ru Paul, Hunty

“People are going to talk about you anyway. You might as well do what you want to do!”

Ru Paul quotes

I hope these 9 tips (bits of advice for difficult times) helped you in some way.
Need more support? Contact me with a request for a complimentary energy healing (I am Reiki level 2) from a distance.
I’m available for a limited amount of one-on-one consultation calls or video sessions. Contact me here.
Sharing is Caring

Cute Chicken Compilation with Music by Sarah Jordan

Cute Chicken Compilation with Music by Sarah Jordan

Everyone loves my pet chicken videos…enjoy this compilation.

About the Music

I’ve never had a formal vocal lesson (except for Chad correcting me and showing me harmonies)…but I feel like have to create it or I will literally die.

“When everything works best, it’s not because you chose writing (or music), it’s because it CHOSE YOU. It’s when you’re mad with it. It’s when it’s stuffed in your ears, nostrils, under your fingernails. It’s when there’s no hope but that.” Charles Bukowski

My take on this: Projectile Poetry by Sarah Jordan

When I play my ukulele,

my fingers ACHE to pluck and caress

the strings.

My ears are RAVENOUS

for succulent melodies and my throat

throbs with the weight of my words

that desperately need to escape

from the confining cages of my physical heart and lungs.

When the press the pencil to the page

my hand cannot keep up with

my brain’s wild words, lyrics or ideas.

When I’m with you,

I’m so incredibly fully with you

OTHERWISE WHY BOTHER!?

My ears drink

your words like nectar.

My eyes are liquid pools

reflecting you, your image, ALL OF YOU

back to you like molten moonlight

and I wouldn’t fudging dare to put

a screen between us (except to suspend time forever at the click of a camera button)

so that you can’t help but

fully feel my presence too.”- Sarah Jordan

Inspiration

Charles Bukowski (although dead) continues to inspire me because he sat on the floor writing on a damn napkin because it was what he LIVED for, and he would have died for it!!

“We work too hard. We try too hard,” Bukowski wrote to Packard.

“Don’t try. Don’t work. It’s there. Looking right at us, aching to kick out of the closed womb.”

What he might have meant by this: “if the thought of living without it (your THING) hurts more than the thought of potentially suffering through the process, if the thought of a life without it or never having tried it at all terrifies you, if it comes to you, through you, out of you, almost as if you’re not trying, then go all the fudging way.'”

That quote comes from Bukowski’s novel Factotum — the story of Bukowski in search of blue-collar work that won’t get in the way of his one true craft (writing).

If you liked this…

Each month I send out a muse letter: part inspiration, part E-zine, part love letter.

Subscribe here…it’s fun and free.

Sharing is Caring

My Best Advice: Too Good Not to Share here

Featured

Yesterday I caught inspiration fever and sent out a newsletter sharing what I thought was my best advice.

Here’s what people said about it:

Sarah Jordan Asheville

Sarah Jordan Asheville

Hop on the list to get my next newsletter. It’s free!

My Best Advice

The world needs your gifts and what you have to offer. You are already good enough.

Perfectionism is the highest form of self-abuse. Although you should strive for excellence, staying invisible and waiting to be “perfect” is a huge disservice to the people who need you.

For example, in 2010 I decided I was already good enough and READY, so I started teaching my own hoop dance classes at a local library. The Classes took off like gangbusters.

I was so in-demand that I created an online course (although the course is no longer for sale, you can find portions of it here) in an attempt to keep up with the demand.

And although I sold my website and have pivoted and changed directions since then, it feels pretty darn good to know that I’ve impacted thousands and thousands of people worldwide with my courses and books (not to mention all the amazing things my students have done: they’ve collectively taught thousands of students themselves) because I had the guts to think that I was already good enough.

You see there is no ready fairy. if you’re waiting until you feel ready to do the thing, you’re going to be waiting forever.

You don’t have to be perfect. You only have to be “better than” your first student.

Don’t be afraid to PIVOT…You don’t have to be married to one job, one career, one passion. You can be MANY different things if you wish.

My husband Chad is a perfectionist when it comes to music. but I deemed myself good enough to play at his level long before he ever agreed with me. Now we have a real band (The Loverfaces) together!


Chad believes that we shouldn’t put any videos out unless if they are absolutely perfect. Let me tell you I put out my own content on the regular and it is far from perfect and because of that I have received:

 

+ Invitations to perform at events

Sarah Jordan Asheville

+ Invitations to be professionally recorded and to go on podcasts and interviews
+ Incredibly sweet & helpful praise from people who LOVE my music, even though it’s not perfect

Sarah Jordan
+Invitations to teach
+ The satisfaction of proving people wrong 😉

And I am far from perfect!

Date your ideas (this advice I learned from Maru Iabichela). you’re allowed to change your mind!

And so went with the flow and started my own little online ukulele academy.

Two and a half years ago Chad bought me a ukulele for Christmas. And then his band broke up. So I brainwashed myself into believing that playing an instrument was easy for me. And it became easy!

Don’t get me wrong there were nights where my brain was hurting…. but I persisted because I had a vision and a goal….I wanted to be in a “serious band” with Chad.

And I wanted to sing at his level. So I sang to the dogs I pet sit for every day. Now I sing to my pet chickens.

Side note: Chad has been playing instruments and in a real bands for decades longer than me. He sings like a freaking angel. But I DID IT! Because I brainwashed myself into believe I could.

And when quarantine is over, we are going to perform all over Asheville.

You see, up until a few years ago, I always thought I was just “a dancer” and an artist. I thought that music was my sister’s gift and that I wasn’t skilled in that way or think that I could to be good at that too.

But I was wrong. Learning to play an instrument was for me too. And it was one of the best darn decisions I ever made.

You can have it too. Stop waiting for readiness, perfection or some other made up bs excuse. You deserve joy now.

<3, Sarah

PS. There is a part 2 and part 3 of this advice. If you want to hear it, add yourself to my free email club and get it in your inbox.

 

Sharing is Caring